Pep O’ Plant staff tries experimental Oreo flavors
It’s no secret that Nabisco has been tinkering with their creme formula. Concealed between the iconic, rounded and famously embossed wafers that make up the “Oreo” cookie lies a constant surprise, an experiment with the laws of nature, dessert and processed food in the balance.
After the birth of the nearly surreal Pina Colada, Cherry Cola and Kettle Corn flavors this May, the Pep O’Plant staff could ignore their calling no longer. Adopting six of the newer flavors of Oreos, each member had a mission: taste, rate and describe these edible twists of the beloved classic.
Birthday Cake:
With an average rating of 4 out of 10, the Birthday Cake Oreo lost the six-flavor race and consistently scored lower than its counterparts. Associated with the adjectives “sickly,” “vile” and “trash” by junior Riley Schofner, few had kinder words to offer.
“Smells like a birthday cake Yankee Candle,” senior Katy Kasper said. “Not noticeably birthday-cake flavored.”
What makes a cookie taste like a birthday cake remains a mystery, but the sprinkles embedded inside were much easier to distinguish.
“Aesthetic contrast between the cookie and funfetti cream,” sophomore Katie Valenti said. “Doesn’t taste like birthday cake but still has a sweet taste.”
Red Velvet:
Narrowly coming out ahead, Red Velvet reviews were perhaps the most divided of all and averaged to a meager 4.8 stars. With red-saturated wafers and a cream-cheese filling, Oreo calls this cookie “supremely dunkable” in its product description.
“Tastes kind of bland and artificial with a touch of plastic,” sophomore Jessie Larrinaga said.
While its sweetness and apparent lack of flavor received the brunt of the criticism, sophomore Emily Malone likened its smell to that of “sour milk” and “the football players’ field house.” Few were on the fence about this cookie, with both extremes offering passionate insight.
“I met god, and she is this cookie,” junior Alexis Perno said.
When asked to rate it, Perno spouted seven consecutive 10/10 ratings, each followed by an excess of exclamation points.
Peanut Butter:
Tied for third place with Rocky Road, Peanut Butter scored a close 4.94 out of 10.
“The smell was not as stomach turning as the Red Velvet, and the appearance of the simple black and brown cookie was appealing,” sophomore Ava Nelson said. “The taste was simple and reminiscent of a Nutter Butter, and once you bit into the crumbling cookie you felt satisfied.”
Clearly not as radical as other Oreo flavors known to be circulating shelves, the simplicity of the Peanut Butter Creme cookie disappointed more than it surprised.
“This cookie is just as boring as its name,” senior Isabella Ank said. “Although the chocolate crust gave it a tad bit of sweetness, this failed to offset the ugly taste of peanut butter.”
Rocky Road:
Matching the Peanut Butter Creme with an identical 4.94 average score, the reception for Oreo’s Rocky Road Trip cookie was just that: rocky.
“It’s pretty good, but I mostly just taste chocolate,” sophomore Addie Robey said. “Also, there are some weird chunks of nuts.”
Filled with a chocolate creme, marshmallow pieces and soy nuts, this Oreo variation was released July 23 this year. Some went as far to label it as unpleasant, with a lingering flavor that senior Caton Gonzalez described as an “aftertaste of Styrofoam.”
“If I was stuck on an island with only these, I would starve to death,” junior Graham Hill said.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie:
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie came in second with a score of 5.88, and its components are best said in the words of those who tried it.
“Graham cracker, peanut butter, then chocolate?” senior Chad Mendez said. “I don’t like it.”
While there was disagreement as to its quality, some commented that its flavors were less processed than its synthetic siblings, earning it a place among the top.
“Fantastic,” senior Thompson Draper said. “Tastes actually good and natural.”
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie is one of many to join the Nabisco nut-flavored family, some of its notable members being the PB&J, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and Double Delight Oreos.
“These were the best,” sophomore Hartley Hill said. “I would still rather eat regular Oreos.”
Cinnamon Bun:
With the highest score by far, the Cinnamon Bun Oreo “takes the cake” with a 7.41 average score and the most consistently positive reviews in the race.
“It has a creamy texture inside,” junior Nicole Prus said. “When I eat these Oreos, it reminds me of fall.”
Simply designed, one might mistake this cinnamon cookie with a Golden Oreo. Others, like sophomore Vendela Busbee, compare its smell and taste to Christmas and the baking of gingerbread cookies.
“Very clean presentation,” senior Tegan Fannin said. “Love the minimalism.”
The difficulty of capturing a flavor as delicate as cinnamon, but as sweet as the well-known glazed pastry it’s modeled after, may have led to its singular flaw.
“It tastes like every other cinnamon flavored item I’ve ever had,” sophomore Avery Franks said.
Regardless, the Cinnamon Bun Oreo was, without question, the most well-received cookie. While the future of Oreos is certain to be rife with the new and the unusual, followers can look forward to the rumored Peppermint Bark cookie coming on the horizon.