Everything but the Bagel Bliss


Julia Wolfe

Spread across the table, these tasty treats have one thing in common: they are coated in Everything but the Bagel seasoning. Over the past few years, this seasoning has taken off and delighted the mouths of people all over the US.

Julia Wolfe, Opinions Editor

Trader Joe’s, a favorite grocery store for hipster college students and aspiring granola girls alike, created a seasoning labeled “Everything but the Bagel.” The 2.3-ounce glass bottle is full of poppy seeds, sesame seeds, minced garlic, dried onion and sea salt.  

As soon as it was released a few years ago, it was a success. Now you can find the simple seasoning in other stores including Publix, Walmart and other well-known grocery chains. Because it is such a fan favorite, the company has now created several other seasoned treats for consumers to taste and enjoy, including a Greek yogurt dip, nut mix, pretzels, crackers and an everything bagel.  

I too am a fanatic of the seasoning, and I was skeptical of the flavor being added to other snacks. Would it taste like our beloved seasoning? Should it have stayed true to its bottled seasoning form? I decided to take a trip to my local Trader Joes and rank the foods myself.  

1. Everything but the bagel Greek yogurt dip 

I was pleasantly surprised by my liking of this dip! It was creamy, flavorful, and did a good job of not tasting too flavorful or too bland. It had a tart aftertaste that Greek yogurt has, and it worked well with savory flavor. Overall, I rate it an 8/10 and I plan on buy it again. It is best served with carrots or pretzels. 

2. Everything but the bagel pretzels 

As someone who has munched on pretzels since my teeth have grown in, I had high expectations for this snack. The texture and structure of the pretzels were thin and crispy, like a pretzel thin. The flavor, unfortunately, missed the mark for me. It didn’t retain much of the seasoning taste, and if it had, I might have enjoyed it more. I honestly would rather just buy a bag of regular pretzels. I rate them a 6/10, because they’re mediocre and can be improved.  

3. Everything but the bagel crackers 

These were by far my least favorite food from the list. The cracker flavor had a rye flavor, bitter and very unpleasant in my mouth. I didn’t taste any EBTB seasoning, and it was extremely dry. My mouth felt like a desert after a few chews. I tried dressing the crackers in cheeses and other toppings, but nothing worked for me. I would rather just scrap the cracker all together and eat a slice of cheese. 1/10 ranking for me. The only redeeming quality is the bite sized shape, so that I can swallow it that much faster and get it off my taste buds.  

4. Everything but the bagel duo nut mix 

In this tasty snack, the blend of seasoning is coated on almonds and cashews. Now normally I don’t like nut mixes because the flavors they add on top are too caked and take away from what I enjoy. I hate that when you buy a simple mix it adds all these bizarre flavorings and random raisins. This mix is simple, only including cashews and almonds. They are coated perfectly and not too salty as many nuts become when salted. I could quite honestly sit and eat the entire bag if given the liberty to do so. I give this a sold 9.5/10, only docked because there were clumps of seasoning at the bottom that had fallen off the nuts.  

5. The classic Everything bagel 

When I was shopping, I noticed the Everything bagel as well. I decided I would try the thing that started the seasoning idea in the first place, by the company that produced it. It was absolutely wonderful, not crumbling or messy. The bagel wasn’t dry and went perfectly with the sliced avocado I added on top. You can honestly never go wrong, and I was grateful that they didn’t overdo the seeds on top, but lightly coated the bagel in seeds. 10/10 for me, bagels are the best.