Ellen “The Stacker” Andreu

Junior Ellen Andreu is wowing her classmates this year with a secret super power: extreme stacking. Water bottles, cell phones, pens, pencils, pencil cases, binders, lunch boxes, and textbooks are all typically present on and around her desktop. Rather than simply leaving them side by side, Ellen has taken to piling each of her friends’ many belongings on top of one another, transforming them into awe-inspiring towers that are capturing the attention of students schoolwide.

“I got bored one day in class. I love stacking on desks at school, especially during research. My secret is to go slow and analyze the objects available before stacking,” said Ellen of her humble beginnings in the sport. She never planned on her stacking becoming anything more than a simple pastime to ease the bores of an average school day, but her towers are gracing classrooms throughout the school with their massive presence.

Ellen’s classmates have come to expect new configurations from her weekly and anxiously await her next wild creation. Students gather around her desk and watch in complete silence, always anticipating catastrophe, but she never disappoints. For example, though her APUSH textbook outweighs her empty water bottle greatly, she somehow manages to balance it perfectly on top of the bottle cap and creates a platform for even more stacking opportunities.  “It’s mind-blowing and I’m super jealous,” said junior Avery Bilodeau when asked to comment on Ellen’s uncanny ability.

“Her stacking impairs my ability to take my semester exam. It’s gotten out of hand. It really just pisses me off. The one day I get to witness it is the day I’m trying to write my essay.”  said junior Cameron McKenzie of Ellen’s stacking habits in Derek Thomas’ class.

Her teachers tend to treat her stacking habit as nothing more than a distraction. “It’s taking over,” said Derek Thomas, AP English Language and Composition teacher. Upon closer inspection, it appears that Ellen’s towers have come to inspire her classmates to work harder than ever, motivated to finish their class work quickly in order to have spare time at the end of class for extra stacking.