Programming provides useful tips for viewers

“What TV taught me”

With the health epidemic sweeping through the 21st century, an increase in television viewing comes as a major complain

Bold new headlines arise every year claiming that television will increase the risk of early death. The villain? Television. Yet in reality, television also brings benefits by teaching life lessons.

Nowadays, a plethora of educational television programs exist. However, shows for pleasure have tidbits of educational val- ues. For example, criminal shows like “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Castle,” “NCIS” and “Criminal Minds” teach legal jargon, the Miranda Rights, knowledge of mental and physiological illnesses, how to stay away from strange people and how to win court cases.

Some useful bits of knowledge that popular, seemingly un-educational shows have taught me:

Nothing good comes after 2 a.m. Slapsgiving is a real holiday. Long distance relationships may not work, but the care packages are awesome.

Your lobster is out there somewhere. Unagi is a state of social awareness. If two people are meant to be, they will find their way together.

It is perfectly acceptable to get emotional over food. The Empire State Building is not very romantic if you have to climb the stairs to the top. Finding good people to date in New York City does not come easy, but never give up.

For a girl living with 4 other guys, including an ex-boyfriend, life is very interesting. Never try to hide things from cops or flush bath salts down the toilet.

How to get away with murder. The perfect murder weapon: an icepick because it will melt along with the evidence. The IT person is extremely important in solving cases. When the FBI tries to steal your cases and hide critical new leads problems arise.

Always be awake when going to the doctor. If you get artificially inseminated, don’t freak out, you will have support from your family.

Cop shows always show a male and female partnership. And al- most inevitably, they will end up together unless one of them is unfortunately already married.

Revenge is harder than you think. If you think your mom and dad are dead, check again.

Doctor shows are always an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes life will throw curveballs at you -hospital shootings, plane crashes, best friends moving to Switzerland, your husband leaving you for a job mapping brains for the President of the United States – but you have to push through and keep on living. Go after your passion; don’t let others hold you back.